Migrants’ Stories: Not a Bed of Roses
Posted at 12/31/2012 6:31 PM | Updated as of 12/31/2012 6:31 PM
Editors Note: The story is from
the book “Migrants’ Stories, Migrants’ Voices 4" published by the
Philippine Migrants Rights Watch (PMRW) with the support from CEI
(Conferenza Episcopale Italiana) or the Italian Bishops' Conference. The
book contains a collection of 10 stories of the realities of migration
as faced by Filipinos abroad and their family members in the
Philippines. abs-cbnNEWS.com obtained permission from PMRW to publish
the stories online.
When I was 13 years old, my mother died. I was then in Grade VI and my older brother was in first year high school. After mother’s death, our father brought us to the house of his sister and that is where we lived. He left us with his sister so that he can live with his new wife. He would only come and visit us on Sundays to give us our school allowance.
When I reached third year high school, my father fetched me and my brother to live with him and his common law wife. After high school, my brother started working. My father found employment for him. Since then, it was my brother who provided for all my school needs.
My father could not afford to send us further to school because he has other children with his new wife to support. Thus, when I finished high school, I was sent to live with some relatives in Pangasinan. I stayed with a cousin who had a store. I helped her in her store and in return, I got to stay with her and she fed me. I was not paid for working in my cousin’s store. I was there for almost six months. Then, my mother’s sister called and asked if I would be interested to enroll in a computer secretarial course. I immediately said yes and enrolled in the course.
I stayed with her in Cubao. I studied for one year, then took the speed test and passed. I applied for work at an agency and they fielded me to the Land Transportation Office (LTO) main office.
I did encoding at the LTO until they terminated my services after 10 months. I then applied as secretary to one of my cousins, but since the salary was too low, I left and applied to work as a saleslady.
As I was staying with my aunt, I would help in the family finances. Whenever I receive my salary, I would buy grocery items for the house. It was during this time when I met the wife of one of my cousins who was planning to go back and work in Japan. She encouraged me to apply at the promotions agency handling her. She said if I really wanted to help my father, then Japan is the place to work.
My salary as a saleslady was not much and I really wanted to help my father and my younger siblings. My cousin’s wife was earning much and she was able to buy nice things for her family. They also have a beautiful house. I also wanted all those things for me and my family.
My father, his wife and their five children during that time were staying in a small rented apartment. Thus, I left my aunt’s house in Cubao and stayed with my father and his family in Novaliches, with the intention of going to Japan for work.
I applied at the promotions agency and started training as a dancer. We were three women training as a group. After training for four months, we auditioned. Finally, in August of 1999 I left the Philippines for Japan. I was then 22 years old.
I recall having signed a contract before I left for Japan. It was a six-month contract. I was supposed to work in Gunma and I was promised a salary of US$500 for every month of work. I was also told that I will receive only five months equivalent of my salary because I had to pay for my training and the processing of all my documents.
Although it was my first time to travel outside the country, I was not afraid. I was not alone when I travelled to Japan. There were three of us in the group; two of us were new and the other was what they call a ‘timer’, i.e., one who has already worked in Japan.
We left Manila in the morning and arrived at the Narita Airport early in the afternoon. We were fetched at the airport by our Japanese promoter. The ‘timer’ who was with us did not join us. Apparently, she will work in another place. My companion and I travelled with our Japanese promoter. We did not know where he will take us but it was a long journey by car. We reached our destination in the evening. We were brought to the dormitory where we will stay and immediately, we were told to change our clothes and report for work at the club. The club was located just across the street.
At the club, I felt uncomfortable. It was my first time to work in such a setting. More so, I did not know how to communicate with the Japanese customers. The Filipina ladies who were working with me in the club were quite helpful. At first, I was asked to get orders. I would also assist our guests, like pour their drinks and accompany them on stage whenever they feel like singing. The club was in Shizuoka and not in Gunma as stated in my contract.
Three days later, I was transferred to Matsumoto. I stayed there for three months. Aside from doing the work I was told to do, I was able to perform on stage at the club in Matsumoto. I was also asked to go out on afternoon dates with customers or what they call ‘dohan.’ We get points for going out on ‘dohan’ with customers and that also meant additional earnings for us.
After 3 months, I was again transferred to another club this time located in Hamamatsu. In this club, only three of us were legitimate talents. The rest were the so-called ‘bilog’ or illegal aliens doing part time work in the club. We were all Filipinos in the club.
It was difficult for me during my first contract. Everything was new to me – the environment, the people, and the work. There was a lot of adjustment and coping I had to do. I cried a lot because of frustration. I did not understand what people were saying at the club. I had to learn how to drink alcoholic beverages. I had to learn how to be nice to customers, how to sweet-talk them. I did not like the work I had but I could not do anything.
If I decide to go home, there were debts to be paid. During the first few months, I was also longing for home. I did not receive any news from home. I envied the other talents who were receiving letters from their families in the Philippines. That was when I decided to write a letter to one of my cousins. She replied to my letter and I felt good. I then realized that I had to initiate the first contact. I phoned my father and we talked.
Since then, I would, from time to time, write letters or phone home. I received my salary for the months that I worked in Japan at the airport, just before I returned to Manila. I did not even bother to count how much money I earned.
During the six months that I worked in Japan, the only money I had was the food allowance given to us every month. I did not spend it all and tried to save so that I will have some money to buy other things I needed. I received very little allowance as my share for going out on dohan because I did not really like going out on dohan. I had this bad experience the first time I tried it.
I went out on a date with a Japanese customer. We went far and he parked the car just outside a hotel. Because of the tales I had heard from fellow co-workers, I had a feeling he wanted us to check in at the hotel and have sex. I was so afraid, so I started crying. When the Japanese saw me crying, we left the place and he brought me back to the dormitory. Since then, I have been afraid of going out on dates and refused to do so.
After finishing my six-month contract, I returned to the Philippines. Although I brought home some money, I was not really able to save anything at all. I gave some of it to my father. And since I was staying with my father’s sister while waiting to return to Japan, I had to contribute some amount for the food and other house needs of my aunt and her family.
In August 2000, I left again for Japan for my second contract. This time, I left for Japan with a younger cousin and we were both deployed in the same club in Saitama. This was a bigger club than the ones I worked at during my first contract. I stayed in this club for one month and then was transferred to Tokyo where I stayed until I finished my second contract.
My Japanese promoter in Tokyo had three clubs. My fellow talents and I would move from one club to another, depending on where we were needed. All these clubs were located near each other so we would just walk. My salary for my second contract was US$700 every month. The accommodation was for free. We also had rice subsidy and food allowance. Because of my bad experience going out on ‘dohan’ I refused to go out on dates with Japanese customers.
Again, I saved whatever I can from the food allowance given to us so that I will have some money to call my father or buy the things I need. Once a month we had our day off. Since I did not have extra money, I was able to send some money home only once. I would also just frequent the Y100 shops. Once, I also accompanied a first timer on dohan with her Japanese customer. We went to Disneyland.
There was a time when I and some other talents in the club had to go to train stations to hand out calling cards to Japanese men, in the hope that they will come and visit our club. It was almost winter when we had to do this and it was quite cold. While I had a jacket for my body, the shoes I wore were not suitable for cold weather.
When I returned home after my second contract, my father requested me to give him P30,000 to buy a house that is mortgaged. I gave him the amount and he and his family were able to move to a bigger house. He and his wife had 8 children by that time.
It took me a while to return to Japan for my third contract. I left for Japan in December 2001. This time around, my work was in Kumamoto City, located in the island of Kyushu. As soon as I met my Japanese promoter at the Fukuoka Airport, he confiscated my passport. He brought me to the club dormitory, and I was immediately brought to the club. My salary was US$1,000.
We were required to go out on dohan but I only go out with a group. Most of the time, we would just eat in restaurants with our Japanese customers. Unlike in my previous contracts, I was not transferred to another club. I stayed in the same club until I was sent home. Unlike in other clubs, we had to dress in business suits. Since I did not possess such clothes, I had to buy some from a Filipina who was selling them. This is where most of my allowance went.
It was also in this club where I met my future husband, Mr. Kuraoka. My husband was a frequent customer of the club. He is about thirty years my senior. When I met him, he already knew how to speak Tagalog. I was new in the club and he requested for a newcomer. He wanted the smallest one, and since I was the smallest, I went and sat down with him. We started talking, but I did not like him since he was making jokes at my expense and I told him I did not like it. He said I was a spoilsport. He and his friends asked us to go out with them to eat at a restaurant. I agreed but on the day we were supposed to meet, there was a meeting called at the club. I do not think anybody bothered to inform our Japanese dates that we could not make it to the dohan.
The next time I saw Mr. Kuraoka at the club, he did not request for me to sit down with him. I thought he must be mad at me since I did not show up for the group date. I confronted him about it and he said he actually asked for me but was surprised when it was another girl who sat down with him. Since then, he would always request for me whenever he visited the club. I also asked for his number so that I can call him and invite him to come to the club. Eventually, I started going out on dates with him alone. We would always eat in restaurants. He likes to eat fish while I like meat. He has always been good to me. Whenever I needed something, he tried to give it to me. He would come to the club whenever I do not have any customer.
Thus, we became close. Eventually, he became my boyfriend. After three months of working at the club in Kumamoto City, the owner said the club was not doing well and management had decided to reduce the number of its talents. I was one of the club casualties. I did not mind it a bit since I found out I was pregnant by my Japanese boyfriend.
Since I stayed for only three months, my take home pay amounted to only about P20,000. I had to pay all the debts I accumulated, including the clothes I bought for club work.
I told Mr. Kuraoka that I was pregnant and he told me he will marry me. We even called my father to tell him that I was pregnant and that we will soon marry. I returned to the Philippines in March 2002 and Mr. Kuraoka visited me in our house in Novaliches in June. We got married at the City Hall and this was followed by a reception at a restaurant. However, I knew that it was not valid since he did not have any documents with him. Our marriage was not registered.
Our first daughter was born in October of 2002. Mr. Kuraoka was not there. But he came to visit us again in February 2003. He brought with him all the necessary documents and we got married again at the City Hall. It was only then that I learned he had already been married and divorced from his first wife, also a Filipina.
We had our marriage registered. I think I paid P10,000 all in all for our marriage, including the license and registration. Immediately after our marriage, we proceeded to the Embassy of Japan because my husband said he had to process some documents.
My husband stayed with us until June of that year. When he left, I was pregnant with our second child. Again, he was not present during the birth of our second daughter. He would always tell me he will visit us, but he never came. Nevertheless, he sent us financial support every month. He would also call every week to find out how we were. We had plans of being together as a family. He said he wanted to do business in the Philippines, maybe buy an FX taxi. All these however never materialized.
Our second daughter got sick. She was diagnosed with biliary atresia, a disease of the liver. According to her doctors, she would require surgery. I informed my husband of her condition and asked him to come. He said he would just send us the money he would use for the plane fare for our daughter’s medication.
When my daughter was eight months old, she died. My husband never saw her alive. He was not even there for her funeral. I was so angry with my husband because I felt that he abandoned us.
My husband never visited us again but he continued sending us financial support. However, the amount he used to send decreased. By 2006, he was no longer sending us money. He said he was in a dire financial situation. I told him he can forget all his responsibilities towards me but not to our daughter.
In January 2006, I decided to look for work. I got employed as a trimmer in a garments factory. But my salary was just enough for my daughter’s milk. My husband also stopped sending us any financial support, so we had to leave the apartment. I could no longer afford to pay the rent. I decided to stay with a cousin of mine. I was able to find a job that pays well. However, this job kept long hours and I did not have time for my daughter, so I decided to quit. I also tried working as a waitress in a restaurant.
My cousin eventually decided to put up a burger kiosk and I worked for her. The business did not do well so after a few months it closed.
One time in April, I decided to call my husband. The phone kept ringing but he never answered. I think I spent the whole day trying to call him. Since then, I vowed not to have anything to do with my husband anymore.
It was also the time when I decided to live with my father and his family. My father and his wife had 10 children by then, and my daughter and I squeezed ourselves in their small house.
In May 2006, I was watching television and saw the interview with the staff and women members of the Development Action for Women Network (DAWN). In October of the same year, I decided to go to DAWN and present to them my problem.
It has been six years since my daughter and I came to DAWN. We became members of DAWN and have participated in many of its activities.
At present, I am working as weaver at the Sikhay project of DAWN. DAWN also encouraged me to pursue my studies. At present, I am enrolled in the Open University of the Polytechnic University of the Philippines and am taking up BS in Entrepreneurial Management.
I am glad to be back in school. It feels good to be back in school. The only complaint I have is that the books are expensive. I am glad that I have classmates who understand my predicament and help me in my needs. I want to be able to finish my studies because I know that it will help me advance in life.
Meanwhile, my daughter is now in Grade four. It will take many more years before she graduates from college. My wish is for her to be able to fulfill her dream of becoming a veterinary doctor.
In May this year, my daughter was one of the children who took part in the theatre tour of DAWN in Japan. DAWN was able to contact her father and after nine years, my daughter finally met her father.
While I am happy that my daughter met her father, I also wish that my husband could provide our daughter with some financial support. However, I learned that he is just relying on government support for his needs.
For years now, my daughter and I have been surviving without any support from my husband. It will still be many years before my daughter graduates from college and I know that this entails a lot of sacrifice and hard work. But I believe that with the support of my family and DAWN, I will be able to bring her up and provide her with education.
Sometimes, I also wish that we can be whole again as a family. I want my daughter, my husband and I to have the chance to meet up as a family. I know this is far-fetched but who knows?
Lessons learned
I have made wrong decisions in the past which have affected my present. As an OFW then, I took it for granted that I will earn a lot in a foreign land. I never counted the salary given to me by my employer. I was contented to have money which I could share with my family. Perhaps, it was my desire to help my relatives and to show my gratitude to them that I gave them some money. For myself, I was only able to buy some new clothes. I was not able to save for the future. I could have invested even in a small business. Now, I have nothing to show as proof of my having worked abroad, except my daughter.
I guess I was not really ready for a job abroad. I never questioned the contract I signed and I never counted the money I received as wages. I was just going with the flow. I thought everything will be okay.
Reflecting on the past, I should have asked and demanded for my rights. I never questioned my employer why he had to confiscate my passport. It is only now that I realize all these.
To all those who want to try their luck abroad, that is your right. But you should know your rights before you leave. Read the contract, so that you know if your employer is short-changing you. I also advice OFWs to learn how to save so that when you find yourself in need, there is some money you can use.
While it is all right to share your earnings with family, you should also leave some for yourself.
When I was 13 years old, my mother died. I was then in Grade VI and my older brother was in first year high school. After mother’s death, our father brought us to the house of his sister and that is where we lived. He left us with his sister so that he can live with his new wife. He would only come and visit us on Sundays to give us our school allowance.
When I reached third year high school, my father fetched me and my brother to live with him and his common law wife. After high school, my brother started working. My father found employment for him. Since then, it was my brother who provided for all my school needs.
My father could not afford to send us further to school because he has other children with his new wife to support. Thus, when I finished high school, I was sent to live with some relatives in Pangasinan. I stayed with a cousin who had a store. I helped her in her store and in return, I got to stay with her and she fed me. I was not paid for working in my cousin’s store. I was there for almost six months. Then, my mother’s sister called and asked if I would be interested to enroll in a computer secretarial course. I immediately said yes and enrolled in the course.
I stayed with her in Cubao. I studied for one year, then took the speed test and passed. I applied for work at an agency and they fielded me to the Land Transportation Office (LTO) main office.
I did encoding at the LTO until they terminated my services after 10 months. I then applied as secretary to one of my cousins, but since the salary was too low, I left and applied to work as a saleslady.
As I was staying with my aunt, I would help in the family finances. Whenever I receive my salary, I would buy grocery items for the house. It was during this time when I met the wife of one of my cousins who was planning to go back and work in Japan. She encouraged me to apply at the promotions agency handling her. She said if I really wanted to help my father, then Japan is the place to work.
My salary as a saleslady was not much and I really wanted to help my father and my younger siblings. My cousin’s wife was earning much and she was able to buy nice things for her family. They also have a beautiful house. I also wanted all those things for me and my family.
My father, his wife and their five children during that time were staying in a small rented apartment. Thus, I left my aunt’s house in Cubao and stayed with my father and his family in Novaliches, with the intention of going to Japan for work.
I applied at the promotions agency and started training as a dancer. We were three women training as a group. After training for four months, we auditioned. Finally, in August of 1999 I left the Philippines for Japan. I was then 22 years old.
I recall having signed a contract before I left for Japan. It was a six-month contract. I was supposed to work in Gunma and I was promised a salary of US$500 for every month of work. I was also told that I will receive only five months equivalent of my salary because I had to pay for my training and the processing of all my documents.
Although it was my first time to travel outside the country, I was not afraid. I was not alone when I travelled to Japan. There were three of us in the group; two of us were new and the other was what they call a ‘timer’, i.e., one who has already worked in Japan.
We left Manila in the morning and arrived at the Narita Airport early in the afternoon. We were fetched at the airport by our Japanese promoter. The ‘timer’ who was with us did not join us. Apparently, she will work in another place. My companion and I travelled with our Japanese promoter. We did not know where he will take us but it was a long journey by car. We reached our destination in the evening. We were brought to the dormitory where we will stay and immediately, we were told to change our clothes and report for work at the club. The club was located just across the street.
At the club, I felt uncomfortable. It was my first time to work in such a setting. More so, I did not know how to communicate with the Japanese customers. The Filipina ladies who were working with me in the club were quite helpful. At first, I was asked to get orders. I would also assist our guests, like pour their drinks and accompany them on stage whenever they feel like singing. The club was in Shizuoka and not in Gunma as stated in my contract.
Three days later, I was transferred to Matsumoto. I stayed there for three months. Aside from doing the work I was told to do, I was able to perform on stage at the club in Matsumoto. I was also asked to go out on afternoon dates with customers or what they call ‘dohan.’ We get points for going out on ‘dohan’ with customers and that also meant additional earnings for us.
After 3 months, I was again transferred to another club this time located in Hamamatsu. In this club, only three of us were legitimate talents. The rest were the so-called ‘bilog’ or illegal aliens doing part time work in the club. We were all Filipinos in the club.
It was difficult for me during my first contract. Everything was new to me – the environment, the people, and the work. There was a lot of adjustment and coping I had to do. I cried a lot because of frustration. I did not understand what people were saying at the club. I had to learn how to drink alcoholic beverages. I had to learn how to be nice to customers, how to sweet-talk them. I did not like the work I had but I could not do anything.
If I decide to go home, there were debts to be paid. During the first few months, I was also longing for home. I did not receive any news from home. I envied the other talents who were receiving letters from their families in the Philippines. That was when I decided to write a letter to one of my cousins. She replied to my letter and I felt good. I then realized that I had to initiate the first contact. I phoned my father and we talked.
Since then, I would, from time to time, write letters or phone home. I received my salary for the months that I worked in Japan at the airport, just before I returned to Manila. I did not even bother to count how much money I earned.
During the six months that I worked in Japan, the only money I had was the food allowance given to us every month. I did not spend it all and tried to save so that I will have some money to buy other things I needed. I received very little allowance as my share for going out on dohan because I did not really like going out on dohan. I had this bad experience the first time I tried it.
I went out on a date with a Japanese customer. We went far and he parked the car just outside a hotel. Because of the tales I had heard from fellow co-workers, I had a feeling he wanted us to check in at the hotel and have sex. I was so afraid, so I started crying. When the Japanese saw me crying, we left the place and he brought me back to the dormitory. Since then, I have been afraid of going out on dates and refused to do so.
After finishing my six-month contract, I returned to the Philippines. Although I brought home some money, I was not really able to save anything at all. I gave some of it to my father. And since I was staying with my father’s sister while waiting to return to Japan, I had to contribute some amount for the food and other house needs of my aunt and her family.
In August 2000, I left again for Japan for my second contract. This time, I left for Japan with a younger cousin and we were both deployed in the same club in Saitama. This was a bigger club than the ones I worked at during my first contract. I stayed in this club for one month and then was transferred to Tokyo where I stayed until I finished my second contract.
My Japanese promoter in Tokyo had three clubs. My fellow talents and I would move from one club to another, depending on where we were needed. All these clubs were located near each other so we would just walk. My salary for my second contract was US$700 every month. The accommodation was for free. We also had rice subsidy and food allowance. Because of my bad experience going out on ‘dohan’ I refused to go out on dates with Japanese customers.
Again, I saved whatever I can from the food allowance given to us so that I will have some money to call my father or buy the things I need. Once a month we had our day off. Since I did not have extra money, I was able to send some money home only once. I would also just frequent the Y100 shops. Once, I also accompanied a first timer on dohan with her Japanese customer. We went to Disneyland.
There was a time when I and some other talents in the club had to go to train stations to hand out calling cards to Japanese men, in the hope that they will come and visit our club. It was almost winter when we had to do this and it was quite cold. While I had a jacket for my body, the shoes I wore were not suitable for cold weather.
When I returned home after my second contract, my father requested me to give him P30,000 to buy a house that is mortgaged. I gave him the amount and he and his family were able to move to a bigger house. He and his wife had 8 children by that time.
It took me a while to return to Japan for my third contract. I left for Japan in December 2001. This time around, my work was in Kumamoto City, located in the island of Kyushu. As soon as I met my Japanese promoter at the Fukuoka Airport, he confiscated my passport. He brought me to the club dormitory, and I was immediately brought to the club. My salary was US$1,000.
We were required to go out on dohan but I only go out with a group. Most of the time, we would just eat in restaurants with our Japanese customers. Unlike in my previous contracts, I was not transferred to another club. I stayed in the same club until I was sent home. Unlike in other clubs, we had to dress in business suits. Since I did not possess such clothes, I had to buy some from a Filipina who was selling them. This is where most of my allowance went.
It was also in this club where I met my future husband, Mr. Kuraoka. My husband was a frequent customer of the club. He is about thirty years my senior. When I met him, he already knew how to speak Tagalog. I was new in the club and he requested for a newcomer. He wanted the smallest one, and since I was the smallest, I went and sat down with him. We started talking, but I did not like him since he was making jokes at my expense and I told him I did not like it. He said I was a spoilsport. He and his friends asked us to go out with them to eat at a restaurant. I agreed but on the day we were supposed to meet, there was a meeting called at the club. I do not think anybody bothered to inform our Japanese dates that we could not make it to the dohan.
The next time I saw Mr. Kuraoka at the club, he did not request for me to sit down with him. I thought he must be mad at me since I did not show up for the group date. I confronted him about it and he said he actually asked for me but was surprised when it was another girl who sat down with him. Since then, he would always request for me whenever he visited the club. I also asked for his number so that I can call him and invite him to come to the club. Eventually, I started going out on dates with him alone. We would always eat in restaurants. He likes to eat fish while I like meat. He has always been good to me. Whenever I needed something, he tried to give it to me. He would come to the club whenever I do not have any customer.
Thus, we became close. Eventually, he became my boyfriend. After three months of working at the club in Kumamoto City, the owner said the club was not doing well and management had decided to reduce the number of its talents. I was one of the club casualties. I did not mind it a bit since I found out I was pregnant by my Japanese boyfriend.
Since I stayed for only three months, my take home pay amounted to only about P20,000. I had to pay all the debts I accumulated, including the clothes I bought for club work.
I told Mr. Kuraoka that I was pregnant and he told me he will marry me. We even called my father to tell him that I was pregnant and that we will soon marry. I returned to the Philippines in March 2002 and Mr. Kuraoka visited me in our house in Novaliches in June. We got married at the City Hall and this was followed by a reception at a restaurant. However, I knew that it was not valid since he did not have any documents with him. Our marriage was not registered.
Our first daughter was born in October of 2002. Mr. Kuraoka was not there. But he came to visit us again in February 2003. He brought with him all the necessary documents and we got married again at the City Hall. It was only then that I learned he had already been married and divorced from his first wife, also a Filipina.
We had our marriage registered. I think I paid P10,000 all in all for our marriage, including the license and registration. Immediately after our marriage, we proceeded to the Embassy of Japan because my husband said he had to process some documents.
My husband stayed with us until June of that year. When he left, I was pregnant with our second child. Again, he was not present during the birth of our second daughter. He would always tell me he will visit us, but he never came. Nevertheless, he sent us financial support every month. He would also call every week to find out how we were. We had plans of being together as a family. He said he wanted to do business in the Philippines, maybe buy an FX taxi. All these however never materialized.
Our second daughter got sick. She was diagnosed with biliary atresia, a disease of the liver. According to her doctors, she would require surgery. I informed my husband of her condition and asked him to come. He said he would just send us the money he would use for the plane fare for our daughter’s medication.
When my daughter was eight months old, she died. My husband never saw her alive. He was not even there for her funeral. I was so angry with my husband because I felt that he abandoned us.
My husband never visited us again but he continued sending us financial support. However, the amount he used to send decreased. By 2006, he was no longer sending us money. He said he was in a dire financial situation. I told him he can forget all his responsibilities towards me but not to our daughter.
In January 2006, I decided to look for work. I got employed as a trimmer in a garments factory. But my salary was just enough for my daughter’s milk. My husband also stopped sending us any financial support, so we had to leave the apartment. I could no longer afford to pay the rent. I decided to stay with a cousin of mine. I was able to find a job that pays well. However, this job kept long hours and I did not have time for my daughter, so I decided to quit. I also tried working as a waitress in a restaurant.
My cousin eventually decided to put up a burger kiosk and I worked for her. The business did not do well so after a few months it closed.
One time in April, I decided to call my husband. The phone kept ringing but he never answered. I think I spent the whole day trying to call him. Since then, I vowed not to have anything to do with my husband anymore.
It was also the time when I decided to live with my father and his family. My father and his wife had 10 children by then, and my daughter and I squeezed ourselves in their small house.
In May 2006, I was watching television and saw the interview with the staff and women members of the Development Action for Women Network (DAWN). In October of the same year, I decided to go to DAWN and present to them my problem.
It has been six years since my daughter and I came to DAWN. We became members of DAWN and have participated in many of its activities.
At present, I am working as weaver at the Sikhay project of DAWN. DAWN also encouraged me to pursue my studies. At present, I am enrolled in the Open University of the Polytechnic University of the Philippines and am taking up BS in Entrepreneurial Management.
I am glad to be back in school. It feels good to be back in school. The only complaint I have is that the books are expensive. I am glad that I have classmates who understand my predicament and help me in my needs. I want to be able to finish my studies because I know that it will help me advance in life.
Meanwhile, my daughter is now in Grade four. It will take many more years before she graduates from college. My wish is for her to be able to fulfill her dream of becoming a veterinary doctor.
In May this year, my daughter was one of the children who took part in the theatre tour of DAWN in Japan. DAWN was able to contact her father and after nine years, my daughter finally met her father.
While I am happy that my daughter met her father, I also wish that my husband could provide our daughter with some financial support. However, I learned that he is just relying on government support for his needs.
For years now, my daughter and I have been surviving without any support from my husband. It will still be many years before my daughter graduates from college and I know that this entails a lot of sacrifice and hard work. But I believe that with the support of my family and DAWN, I will be able to bring her up and provide her with education.
Sometimes, I also wish that we can be whole again as a family. I want my daughter, my husband and I to have the chance to meet up as a family. I know this is far-fetched but who knows?
Lessons learned
I have made wrong decisions in the past which have affected my present. As an OFW then, I took it for granted that I will earn a lot in a foreign land. I never counted the salary given to me by my employer. I was contented to have money which I could share with my family. Perhaps, it was my desire to help my relatives and to show my gratitude to them that I gave them some money. For myself, I was only able to buy some new clothes. I was not able to save for the future. I could have invested even in a small business. Now, I have nothing to show as proof of my having worked abroad, except my daughter.
I guess I was not really ready for a job abroad. I never questioned the contract I signed and I never counted the money I received as wages. I was just going with the flow. I thought everything will be okay.
Reflecting on the past, I should have asked and demanded for my rights. I never questioned my employer why he had to confiscate my passport. It is only now that I realize all these.
To all those who want to try their luck abroad, that is your right. But you should know your rights before you leave. Read the contract, so that you know if your employer is short-changing you. I also advice OFWs to learn how to save so that when you find yourself in need, there is some money you can use.
While it is all right to share your earnings with family, you should also leave some for yourself.
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